Sunday, December 19, 2004

In Kerik, Bush Saw Crucial Values

Sunday, Dec. 19, 2004 10:03 PST AM

WASHINGTON: President Bush first met Bernard B. Kerik during a traffic stop in New York in the 1980s. The details of that stop are unknown, but the future president found himself not only a friend, but a man who, like him, knew how to get things done.

"We were able to solve our, our traffic dispute like gentlemen," the president said. "Afterwards he introduced me to some other gentlemen who helped Laura and I out with some remodeling projects. And I was able to introduce him to some powerful people through my dad. Bernie was always good like that, good in a good American way. He has good American qualities."

Bush said that it was those qualities that prompted him to pick Kerik to be Director of Homeland Security.

"That's why I chose him. Because he has powerful connections with powerful people. You need that in a powerful job, that's what the word "powerful" is meant by. He has a good marriage and he loves his wife. He has a good mistress and he loves his mistress. He had another mistress and he doesn't love that one anymore because she was not a good American. He's been in trouble with the law before so he knows the law from both sides. I know the law like that. He's made millions from law enforcement projects while he was in a powerful position to make those millions. Which is a lot like Dick Cheney and myself, which know how to get things done in a time of power, a time of war. And I'm a war president. Don't forget that."

When asked if he was disappointed that Kerik withdrew his name from the Homeland Security chief nomination pool, Bush responded, "Nah. Karl knows a thousand guys like him."

The NewScrewer Says: For an even screwier version of the story, go to the NY Times. (You must be registered at the Times. If you're not, google the story, they get you through the registration screen somehow.)


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